Really. I’m unemployed, so I have all the time in the world to fill out online applications that take forty-five minutes each and don’t give contact information so I can follow up, and to drive around the city going to career fairs for companies that claim to be hiring in all departments, but really just need cashiers and telemarketers.
I have been working for half my life, and I have never, ever had any trouble finding a job until now. Looks like it’s going to be an imagination Christmas!
(On the flip side, during the times that I haven’t actively been going through these ridiculous contortions for non-existent jobs, I’ve made amazing baked goods and happily countered their effect by spending a ton of time on the treadmill. I may be facing destitution, but I lost six pounds while eating brownie batter and cookie dough all day. There is always a silver lining. Or a chocolate lining, as the case may be.)

