Monthly Archives: April 2008

It's for my complexion.

The last time my skin started looking lousy, I got it in my head that I needed to buy some black soap. I don’t know if I saw Annie Hall* one too may times in my youth or what, but over the summer I found myself trolling health food stores looking for black soap. I [...]
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Signs of Aging

Yesterday morning I was putting on sandals for the first time this year, when I noticed that I have old lady veins in my feet. Tonight there was a party going on somewhere near work, and through my open window I could hear the music – an 80s mix which I was mostly tuning out. Somewhere [...]
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Shitty Job

A few weeks ago, Mrs. Boss found an enema bag under the bench outside the studio. It was full. Last week, there was a long trail of horse poop down the alley. What was a horse was doing outside a yoga studio in downtown Baltimore? (I think there may still be some horse-based police [...]
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Rolling Rock, Jesus, Eddie Murray, and Me

We’re all 33. It’s Sunday, it’s my birthday, and I am going to work. It’s really breathtaking how fast one goes from being thirty to being in one’s thirties. Whoosh!
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Coke and Mystique

My favorite holiday begins next weekend. Passover! 1. And why is this holiday different from all the other holidays? It isn’t really. It’s the essence of all Jewish holidays: they almost killed us but then they didn’t. 2. Matzah, right? Heck, no. Try bringing a peanut butter and jelly on matzah sandwich to school in a brown [...]
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The Reich Man for the Job

This morning I saw a job posting for an assistant at the chiropractic office Dr. Heil and Dr. Adolph. Yikes.
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Putting the "Tit" Back in Titular

When I started this blog, I needed a title for it, and my first choice, tofu4breakfast, was taken. After that I was completely blank. I spent a day or two in titular despair, trying to come up with something, and feeling like a dork about it. The few ideas I had were taken, until seemingly [...]
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Mmmmm… college

One of the teachers at the studio is from State College, and she returned from a recent trip home with a box of grilled stickies for me. I think this is why I was wide awake at 5:15 this Saturday morning. Who could possibly sleep when there is but one grilled stickie left in the [...]
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O-pening Day

It was fifty degrees and drizzling, but Scott and I each had a seven dollar beer and toasted each other with “Happy summer!” So began our afternoon at Camden Yards for opening day. My mom and her special friend were along for the game, which was fun, even though the game wasn’t very good. I [...]
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