A Bunch of Stuff Happened

Two months in one paragraph: I had a health scare which turned out to be a big lump of NOT CANCER, I quit my job to work at home, a big storm put some holes in our house, we went to gay bingo, I started a meditation practice again and scheduled myself for Vipassana, partied with my uncle, went to Woodstock a second time and visited a buddhist temple, and our garden yielded nine broccoli plants, some spinach, ten heads of cabbage, some zucchini, and two ears of corn, with many tomatoes impending.

I also made up some words:

dieflect – to deflect stupid comments about one’s diet. Ex.: When I tell some one I am vegan and they ask me if I eat fish, I dieflect them by wondering aloud where I could buy a new tuba.
ignominibus – a big, old embarrassing vehicle. Ex.: When his boss came over for dinner, Edgar was embarrassed by his hippie neighbors’ sticker-covered ignominibus lurking in the shared driveway.
inqueery – a stealthy question asked to determine a person’s sexual orientation. Ex.: Jeff wondered if his boss offered the extra tickets to “Momma Mia” to everyone in the office, or if it was another less than subtle inqueery about his personal life.
mamorabilia – unwearable bras, bathing suits, and shirts that one keeps as a reminder of perkier times. Ex.: Sally had a drawer full of halter tops and other mamorabilia from those carefree summers in her early twenties, before childbearing and gravity took their toll.
patriautism – developmental disorder that is characterized by impairment of the ability to form normal social relationships with people of different backgrounds, by impairment of the ability to communicate with others without reference to TV or talk radio, and by stereotyped behavior patterns including the inability to form independent ideas. Ex.: Jeannie didn’t believe that patriautism was a real disorder until she visited her distant cousin; within a few moments of her arrival, he blamed the flagging economy on the liberal media, called her a communist for driving a hybrid, then muttered something about atheists and Mexicans, and shooed her out of the way so he could watch NASCAR.