That would be, “Thank God It’s Football.” There was nothing but football on at Scott’s parents’ house yesterday. That was good.
Vipassana impends. What I have noticed -this is a very good thing- is that I am usually very busy right before the things that make me nervous, which makes the anxiety much easier to manage. I have an absurd number of tasks to complete in preparation for leaving my life behind for ten days, and that’s just great. I can’t put my finger on exactly what it is that makes me anxious. After all, if it’s too much, I can always leave. I suppose it’s giving up the perceived control I have over the things and people around me. I’m not really concerned about something awful and terrible coming up during meditation – after all, it would only be something that is already there anyway, and meditation is the opportunity to dismiss it.
What has been interesting about the circumstances around this retreat are the myriad things that could have caused me to cancel. I have passed on probably two dozen workshops, classes, concerts, social events, shows, and family gatherings that I would otherwise attend were I not going to stare at a wall for ten days. It is amazing to me (and frustrating) exactly how many of these things have fallen right into that ten day window. I guess I really mean it, to have turned down all of that stuff.
