While working on a final project for one of my classes, I looked up from my laptop for a bit, and there it was: one of those small, undeniable moments of clarity. There is going to be a big shift in how I spend my time. I am not sure how this is going to happen, but it has to happen.
For the past few days, I have suddenly had a great longing to play all of my instruments. With other obligations looming, seeing my accordion across the room filled me with sadness – a statement I realize should probably be submitted in the next Bulwer-Lytton contest, but nonetheless it is genuine.
It occurred to me last night that I couldn’t remember the last time I wrote a song, which also made me sad. Likewise, I can’t remember the last time I was burning with inspiration to get something hilarious or interesting down in print.
Of course, I have been here before, but this time, I know something! I have an ace! After 34 years in this brain, I have finally figured out that the creative process requires other people. It is no coincidence that although my work is completely internal, it emerges when I am surrounded by other people who are creative and funny and talented. It stirs things up and brings out my best, and if I am lucky, I’ll find myself among people who are more creative and funnier and more talented than me (and maybe even smarter than me – a tall order). I guess this is obvious to the rest of the creative world. I admit I am a little slow when it comes to things that are outside of my own head. It only took me a couple of decades and countless writing workshops and a few times falling in and out of love with people just for what they did for my writing to figure it out.
Anyway, the commitment is there, the momentum is building. Two years in Baltimore – time to find my people.
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