Transcript, brain activity at 3:42 am.
Rightbrain: Thongs!
Leftbrain: Mwwwrfh.
Rightbrain: Thongs!
Leftbrain: Huh?
Rightbrain: Thongs! Thongs! Thongs!
Leftbrain: You did not just wake us up at 3:42 in the morning to think about thongs.
Rightbrain: Thongs! Besides, I did us a favor. The alarm didn’t go off.
Leftbrain: Alarm is set for 5:42. FIVE.
Rightbrain: So what’s an hour?
Leftbrain: It’s two hours.
Rightbrain: Math. Whatever. THONGS!
Leftbrain: I’m not thinking about this right now. Besides, you know the policy on thongs.
Rightbrain: Purple thong!
Leftbrain: What about it?
Rightbrain: PURPLE.
Leftbrain: It’s been in a drawer for four years because we bought it in case of a pantyline emergency, and in four years, we have never once had an emergency that required flossing our crack. Can we please go back to sleep now?
Rightbrain: What about that blog post you were going to write about bras?
Leftbrain: No. I’ve had the same complaints about bra sizing for twenty years, and it is no longer interesting or funny.
Rightbrain: BOOBS. Hahahaha.
Leftbrain: We’re going back to sleep. Now.
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