A Very First Chakra Weekend

Themes lately: connection, sacredness, surrender.

In the last two classes I took – a restorative class on Friday, and a power-ish class Sunday morning – pigeon pose became a very big deal. I didn’t just want to hang out in it for a while, I wanted to really dig in, and live in the sensation, just be completely in it with all of the discomfort, no matter how intense it became. Not surprisingly, stuff started happening. Friday night I came back from class pissed off about money, leading up to a previously scheduled holiday shopping extravaganza with Scott’s family all day Saturday.

Sunday morning, while I was in the posture, my mind went to relationships. Why have them? What is the point of all of this dealing with other people’s stuff? Why do we get ourselves into messes? There is the obvious – it is a way of staying connected. I started thinking back to some really intense, and superficially unhealthy friendships I had back in college – one in particular. I knew it was damaging, I knew it was breaking me down, but it seemed to take on a life of its own, and the powerlessness felt really good. I think those kinds of relationships, the ones that turn into more of a craving for the other person than an exchange of mutual regard, show up when there is something we need to learn about ourselves. It is not to say that those craving friendships can’t become deep and lasting. Perhaps this is why those types of fast and furious friendships tend to show up in high school and college, but not much after; those are times when everyone is as curious about themselves as they are about other people.

It is sad to think that we all start to lose a sense of wonder about ourselves, much less other people as we get older. If there’s no wonder, why be?