Spending lots of time in yoga studios over the past couple of winters, I have had ample opportunity to wonder what is wrong with people who wear flip-flops year-round. More times than I can count, I have thought, “Oh my god. Put on socks,” while sympathy frostbite set into my toes. Granted, Baltimore is not the tundra, but sandals in December? Come on, people.
And by people, I now mean “people who are me.” I have become one of them, another in a long list of kinds of people I never thought I would be (vegan, apolitical, happy, yoga nut, and so on). I have had great difficulty detaching myself from this past summer’s styles -or maybe, as it has always been, it is a symbolic thing with me* and summer was just too short, too good, and not quite hot enough, OR it is just because I finally figured out how to keep a pedicure- so I have pushed the sandal wearing waaaaaay into Fall. It turns out that despite the fact that rest of me is always cold, my feet are fine as long as the weather is dry and the temperature starts with a number equal to or greater than five.
I realized this yesterday, and nerd that I am, started checking average highs and lows for the region. Now, I have always been one to bust out the birkis on the first warm day in March, but in keeping with guidelines for seasonally appropriate dress, I put them away at the end of September. Well, fuck seasonally appropriate. I am setting my own guidelines, and according to the weather channel my terminus for sandal wearing season has just been extended to December 5, the last day of the year for which the average high in Baltimore starts with a five. Then I’ll officially be back in sandal business on March 2.
So, now that I have set my own standards, Zappos, would you please put these on sale so I can wear them once or twice before December 5?
Thank you.
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*When I was a teenager I dreamed about shoes all the time. This hasn’t happened so much as an adult, but at one time it was its own category, along with anxiety dreams, happy dreams, nightmares, etc.: shoe dreams. I have lots of theories about why this happened, but at a minimum, over the years, favorite shoes have come to represent where I am in life, from keds to big clunky men’s work shoes with heart stickers on them, to combat boots, docs, loafers, ferragamos, back to keds, and now, well, see above.
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