Recently, I bought two pairs of tights from Target, both of which ripped at the crotch the first time I wore them. I am alarmed. Either Target needs better quality control, or something down there is trying to bust out when I am not paying attention. Is it the Incredible Hooch*? Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hoo Ha? Optimus Poon? Scary.
*WAIT. That just reminded me of an idea I had years and years ago – a porn version of The Incredible Hulk. “Don’t make me horny. You wouldn’t like me when I’m horny.” That was hilarious after a couple of pitchers and some jaegermeister.
