It is eleven-thirty at night, twenty-seven degrees outside and doing whatever it is that snow does when it is coming down in large, crazy amounts. Pouring down snow? Snow doesn’t really pour. It is not driving, either, not yet anyway. Fine, then the snow is gently, yet persistently falling the fuck down. It is dumping snow. The weather is taking a great big giant flaky white dump all over the mid-Atlantic again, and I am ready to go out and start shoveling NOW just to get outside. I feel like I could run a 5K right now if the roads were clear.
I am starting to get a little… SNOW… M A D N E S S.
Oh, fine. Snow madness, space madness, same thing.
Deep breaths. I am living through weather history and it is exciting. Right. Exciting. Maybe tomorrow I will turn the heat in the house up to eighty-five and sit around in a tank top and shorts.
See, this is proof that global warming is a vast left-wing conspiracy. Because it’s COLD. In WINTER!
P.S. I am no longer jealous of your snow. My sympathy for your cabin fever.