As I find my roots here in Baltimore, I am getting to know, or at least know of, a lot of really interesting people engaged in all sorts of projects that extend beyond their vocations: impressive pursuits in the arts, technology, and community service.
What strikes me about all of these folks is that they are mostly around my age -let’s say between thirty and forty-five- and for the most part, the standouts are men with kids and women without kids. I am curious about this phenomenon. I wonder whether it has to do with a difference in the influence of child-rearing on men from the influence on women, or whether this is the influence of a difference in expectations for men and women, both in the home and outside of it.
I observe that men with kids have additional motivation to work in every aspect their lives, and women with kids are more motivated to work in the aspects of their lives directly related to raising kids -sometimes this includes career and sometimes it does not- but it less often includes other pursuits. The accomplishments other than kids and career that make life rich and exciting are noticeably absent.
I may be wrong on this, or I may just have a limited view, but I also wonder if the expectations of women with kids, no matter how liberated both parents may be, is that women can have kids and a career but anything else is pushing it. The next logical question is whether this is a larger societal expectation that women accept, not only in their hearts, but also in the roles and responsibilities they take on in the workplace and at home. (And of course, there are undeniable biological factors, too.)
I am interested in hearing some folks weigh in on this -both with kids and without. This simply is in the spirit of observation and question, and not intended to minimize the importance of raising the next generation, deride anyone’s choices, or any of that nonsense. It could be that it is just a simple matter of men being more motivated self-promoters, or likely to choose more visible pursuits. Or it could be that my observation is skewed. What say you?
