I had all sorts of misbehaving plans yesterday: I could go to the (little) beach and misbehave, I could head into town to talk to the tattoo guy about touching up my first tattoo and misbehave there, I could color my presently prominent spring of gray hairs PURPLE… and on and on the list went. But, alas, due to the weather I ended up misbehaving about my own misbehaving and fuck it, I’m not going to dress this up, I pretty much stared at the wall for the whole day. When it occurred to me that I was neither misbehaving nor behaving, I figured I might as well get something done while I was staring at the wall, so I took my gaze down to some papers and a calculator and balanced my business* account and paid my taxes.
I also had all sorts of plans for productivity for this summer, and I have been feeling a little low about the fact that the painting story from last semester that I had intended to pick up again at the end of May has lain dormant, and another story I started this summer is still very, very drafty. (Among the ridiculous stories I tell myself from time is that I might not be a real writer because I am not that productive.) I should know by now that so often the resolution to my knottiest issues can be found in the car. All I need to do is drive, and eventually the solutions appear; I have had more epiphanies while driving than at any other time. Anyway, I was driving to the CSA pickup on this Misbehaving Tuesday afternoon when a sticky thing about the painting story unstuck itself, and I was able to get home and work on it for a bit. It is real progress, and I am hopeful that I will be able to finish this story in the next week.
But, more to the point, while the working on the story certainly is not misbehaving, the story is ABOUT misbehaving. So, everything in balance.
I was tempted to work on it all through the evening, but the opportunity for some other, not-suitable-for-blog-audiences misbehaving arose, so it was time to set the fictional misbehaving aside and misbehave myself back into the real world. All things in balance.
*That’s why they call them business socks.
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