Sometimes I have terrible ideas. This is what I told myself repeatedly over the past week, when I realized that I was actually going to DO this, go a year a without a haircut. I had lots of conversations with myself about it, nearly all of which circled around a central theme:
I am going to start having bad hair days and EVERYTHING WILL BE RUINED.
At the same time that part of me is actually panicking about this and another part of me is coming up with all sorts of rationalizations for not doing it (life is too short to not look good, even for a day; a pleasant appearance is a service to the world), I am also fascinated by what is happening inside my head with regard to the outside of my head. This is really stirring shit up. The degree to which I am totally whacked out by taking away the option of having a highly organized hairstyle and haircuts every five weeks is most likely in direct proportion to the degree to which I need to deal with some lurking self-image issues. It is sort of embarrassing to admit this, but there really is a pretty loud part of my psyche that is in a panic over how my life is going to fall apart when my hair starts to get unpredictable and weird. I’ll look ugly, I’ll look like I’m tying too hard or not enough, I’ll look like I don’t know what I’m doing, and on and on. It is fascinating and weird.
In addition to all of that, I realized today that taking pictures every Monday is its own chaos, since I spend most of my Mondays either sweating (teaching), sweating (practicing) or running errands. Not to mention, the best light and mirror in the house are in the bedroom, and Monday is sheet washing day so the room is messy. I mean, this whole thing is just total mayhem.
But, despite a slightly dour visage, I find the whole picture taking thing kind of funny.
(Not to mention it is a good excuse to learn to fine-tune the auto-focus on my camera so that I can get what is IN the mirror in focus, rather than the mirror itself. Hey, does anyone want to take an actually-use-all-the-buttons-on-your-DSLR class with me? It starts next week.)