Hire Me

I’m not just a yoga teacher with nice feet! Indeed, I love teaching yoga, and I am always looking for new gigs. (There is more information about my teaching here.)

I do lots of other stuff, too. I have a resumé with fifteen years of fancy titles on it, and I will share it upon request. For the purposes of the internet, though, here is something much better: what you actually get when I work with/for you.

You get access to the things I know about.

Marketing, promotion, writing, yoga, print / web design, reiki, google analytics, blogging, vegetarian / vegan food, the interwebs, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, wiener dogs, misbehaving, nerd culture.

You get access to the things at which I am absolutely freaking amazing.

Writing / Proofreading – formal, informal, business, marketing, web content, and anything else that involves words.* Grants? It’s been quite a while, but I can do that, too.

Organizing Ridiculous Amounts of Information – Got an incomplete mailing list that has been compiled by half a dozen different people in half a dozen different formats? Thousands of items in inventory in a buggy database? Two dozen sales people, each on different, complex commission structures? Give me a few hours, and I will give you a mail merge, an organized and cataloged warehouse, and accurate payroll, all in an easy to read, sortable, merge-able, highly adaptable, bendable, foldable excel file.

Making People Laugh – I am hilarious. So are you. If we get each other’s senses of humor, we’re going to work well together.

I also enjoy, and am pretty darned good at other cool things.

Basic Print Design – The last time I designed a t-shirt, it took about ten minutes, sold like mad, and the idea was marketable enough that it was promptly ripped off by two other companies. Listen, it’s not going to be the Sistine Chapel of business cards or the Mona Lisa of brochures, but it will be functional, concise, funny and clever when appropriate, and will get the job done. Photoshop, yes. Anything else, I can learn it.

Basic Web Design – I can get a basic site up and running, maintain an existing site, and I know my way around WordPress. I know enough CSS and HTML to take care of business, and I can learn a custom CMS in no time. What I don’t know how to do I’ll learn, and I am REALLY good at learning. I don’t just want to get to know the basics of that piece of software or application, I want to win it. Also, when I get something new working properly, I dance and clap and I have been told this is very entertaining.

Teaching – Teaching (and training) has become a part of every job I’ve held because it comes naturally to me and I’m good at it. Whether one-on-one or in a classroom setting, I can teach you how to do anything I know how to do myself.

Photo Editing – It is so much fun, and with each project I learn new tricks and get even better at it.

Here is what I would like in return.

Money – It’s great. I like it. Trade is fantastic, too. And both are just as important as…

Connections – I want to know more about the amazing people out there a mere degree away from me. To me, this is just as exciting as…

Learning – I am passionate about learning how to do new things (especially new and nerdy things) and I am passionate about getting better at the things I already do well (especially the nerdy things I do well).

So, is there a way we can help each other? Yes? Yes! Let’s talk. Contact me at lauren b flax at gmail dotdiddly com.

*You know what else involves words? Custom erotica. Just sayin’.