Lauren Flax » Ha

Drawn in, Quartered.

laurenflax — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 00:31:27 +0000

By the time yesterday’s tromp around Artscape took me past the comic strip that unfurled itself along the glass block outside of Penn Station, my brain was fried both from the heat outside, and, as it turns out, an ascending fever. I wanted to contribute my own four panels, but I was blank. So, I walked on by, thinking about my journals from high school and college. The back twenty pages or so of all of them contained jokes, poems, and lots of comics and doodles, despite my astounding lack of artistic ability. (My favorite still is a three panel comic of Anti Ringo Starr missiles that I drew when I was sixteen. Also, Bar Mitzvah In A Can.)

This evening I figured out what I would have contributed to the Penn Station comic. Although it is too late for that, I doodled it out anyway. Click the image below for a larger version, in authentic scribbly notebook format!

The post cannot be found

laurenflax — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 04:06:33 +0000

The post you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed (legally, to Gunther Flores), or is temporarily unavailable, but will be ready to get back “out there,” maybe in the Spring some time, you know, after everything is final.

Please try the following:

If you typed the page address in the Address bar, make sure that it is spelt correctly. And if it is spelled correctly, but you are looking for the Lauren Flax who is a DJ in New York, this is her site. And yes, we do look a hell of a lot alike except that I don’t have long hair anymore, and yes it is weird, and no I have never contacted her. Maybe I should let my hair grow out.
Open the www.laurenflax.net homepage, and then look for links to the page you want. Good luck!
Click on the back button to try another link. Or, click on the backintime button to avoid this mess altogether.
Click on the search field to search for things on my blog. Query strings rock.

HTTP 404 – File not found
This is post number 404.

The Joy of Sex

laurenflax — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 00:13:48 +0000

Smut typos are the best. I just wrote four hundred words about sucking clock.

What Lies Beneath

laurenflax — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 00:24:04 +0000

You know what always makes me feel better? Utilikilts.

I have been a little under the weather for the past day, and maybe I am still a bit addled, but I have watched this four times and it continues make me giggle.

Orange You Glad…

laurenflax — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 05:05:26 +0000

… this isn’t another post about navel gazing or shoes?

I have not been a big fan of facebook for a while now – it is a perpetually open tab in my browser more because it is how so many of my friends and acquaintances communicate than because I want to spend my life on it. But, just when I was feeling about done with it, there was this exchange today, which was not only entertaining, but made me wish that we lived a little closer to Megan and Steve.

P-Power

laurenflax — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 04:18:22 +0000

Recently, I bought two pairs of tights from Target, both of which ripped at the crotch the first time I wore them. I am alarmed. Either Target needs better quality control, or something down there is trying to bust out when I am not paying attention. Is it the Incredible Hooch*? Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hoo Ha? Optimus Poon? Scary.

*WAIT. That just reminded me of an idea I had years and years ago – a porn version of The Incredible Hulk. “Don’t make me horny. You wouldn’t like me when I’m horny.” That was hilarious after a couple of pitchers and some jaegermeister.

Decade in Review

laurenflax — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 05:31:21 +0000

As we wind down not only another year but a whole decade, it seems that every other website has a top ten whatever of the past ten years. So, I’ll jump into the fray and add my own top ten list for the naughty aughties.

Top Ten Years of the Past Decade

10. 2002
9. 2003
8. 2000
7. 2005
6. 2001
5. 2007
4. 2008
3. 2004
2. 2006
1. 2009

Good Evening, Ladies and Germs.

laurenflax — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 03:06:25 +0000

A conversation about the empty water filter pitcher in the fridge:

Me (staring blankly into the refrigerator): I wanted cold water.
Scott: Use some water from one of my bottles in there.
Me: They have your germs on them.
Scott: Uh, we were just making out.
Me: That’s different. Those are making out germs.
Scott: Alright. I won’t refrigerate my mouth, then.

It’s nice how Scott usually comes around to my way of seeing things.

Misbehaving Tuesday

laurenflax — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 03:00:52 +0000

Since it is Misbehaving Tuesday, why don’t y’all check out my giant yams?

I just love our CSA. You should see the zucchinis!

One-Liner (or two)

laurenflax — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 01:41:05 +0000

Do you keep the sabbath?

Yes, but not religiously.